Funny Messages

Funny Messages

  When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only i suffer!!!

 

 

    When I was born Devil said...Oh Shit!!! Another GOD!!!..& When u were born devil said ...Oh Shit!!!!Competition...!!! ....

 

 

    Fill in the blank...Im ur .....friend- a)-Cute b)-Sweet c)-Loving d)-Boy/Girl e)-Best of all Reply is a must...

 

 

    Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE- C-Come,O-On,L-Lets, L-Love, E-Each,G-Girl,E-Equally......Thats why boys go to college regularly....

 

 

    Who said english is easy???Fill in the blank with YES or No... 1.-----I dont have brain... 2.-----I dont have sence... 3.-----I am stupid....

 

 

    If ur world is spining Round & Round..& Round....Ur heart is beating fast ,do u think its LOVE? na Munna na its called high B/P...

 

 

    what happend 2 ur mobile? i was trying 2 call u but i got this msg: welcome 2 D jungle network,D monkey u r tring 2 call is on tree plz try later.

 

 

    First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering

 

 

    Last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky...then i thought where the fuck is my roof

 

 

    Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!

 

 

  If your a Vegetarian to be nice to animals, why are you eating there food

 

 

    I'm a killer, i kill people for money, but you are my friend
I KILL YOU FOR FREE !!

 

 

    The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

 

 

    i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again

 

 

    girls are like phones. we like to be held and talked too- but if u press the wrong button u'll be disconnected!

 

 

    MEN-opause MEN-strual pain MEN-tal illness GUY-necologist HIS-terectomy EVER NOTICED HOW WOMENS PROBLEMS START WITH MEN??

 

 

    This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat idiot cat buzy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat! NOW READ IT WITHOUT SAYIN CAT!

 

 

  ><(((:> I send dis fish as a sign of friendship Plz take care of it & keep it in mobile & daily put ur mobile in water so tat fish wont DIE:-) 

 

 

    At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

 

 

    Its been a rough day.I got up this morning,put on a shirt N a button fell off.I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off.I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom

 

 

  One day Raja and rani decided to send messages to each other by using Pigeon instead of mobile. The very next day pigeon reached raja without any message. He angried and called to rani.She told stupid "This was a missed call" By Zunera

 

 

    terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers... and demanded aransom of 500000 rs or else they will burn them with kerosene... plz donate. i have donated 15 litres.

 

 

    Dear user,your wife can become mother without your struggle!Just SMS 'CHILD' or call customer care at 9890****** & be a tension-free DAD!

 

 

    A couple wanted katna(Circumcision)of their son,but they dont know proper word to print,so they printed the wording :THE CUTTING CEREMONY OF FUCKING INSTRUMENTS

 

 

    Husband sitting near to his wife n she was driving,Husband:please slow down the speed of car.Wife:No ;please. No; please NopleaseNopls..Husband:the Newspaper ill publish ur correct Age 55 in case of axident;  Ohh KHkhkhkhkhkh...

 

 

    Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?.... It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins

 

 

    girl friends are like mobile phone, whenever you want happiness just check inbox, whenever u want to cry check out box, and whenever u want to enjoyment just plug in your charger and enjoy

 

 

    Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE satys No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever

 

 

    PRINCIPAL :Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI :Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

 

 

    MAMU :Oye, maar gayea yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hain.
MAMU KA DOST :Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha

 

 

  MAMU :Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL :Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?

 

 

    Hay Baby Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions

 

 

    Marriage:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

 

 

    Love affairs:Something like cricket,
where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test

 

 

    Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write for mother
tongue.?
Santa: Very long

 

 

    In a class, teacher asked: If I buy an item@ 12.75 n sell@15.25, it's loss or profit? student: Profit in rupees & loss in paise

 

 

    Promise me we are true friends I am lamp you are light I am Coke you are Sprite I am Sawan you are badal I am Normal you are Pagal I am Water you are...

 

 

    If someone says u r ugly, its ok, if someone says u r stupid, its ok, if someone says u r genious slap him as tight as you can n say there is a limit of...

 

 

    hey i saw u in TV... how smart u r ... how sweet u r ... how lovely u r ... but i dont know y u r comilg only in animal planet chanel...

 

 

    LOng Time Ago.... Only idiots used.... to read my SMS And Today, The history continues...

 

 

  When words are not enough.... To express your feelings.... Dont think you're in LOVE.... You just need to join... ENGLISH SPEAKING COURSE

 

 

    When I was born Devil said...Oh Shit!!! Another angel!!!..& When u were born devil said ...Oh Shit!!!!Competition...!!! ....

 

 

    Gud Morning... Kindly observe SILENCE for two minutes in the memory of those poor mosquitoes who died last night aftrer sucking ur blood. Thanks.

 

 

    A MAN: U cheated me. Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u. MAN: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all Radio PAKISTAN!

 

 

    Dream makes everything possible, Hope makes everything work, Luv makes everything beautiful, Smile makes all the above... So always Brush ur Teeth

 

 

    I have started luving 'U'... I know it sounds rediculous but I can't control my feelings 4 'U'. Some time later I'll start luving more ALPHABETS...!

 

 

    Roses r Red Violets r Blue monkey like u should b kept in zoooo dont get angry cuz u will find me there tooooo not in the cage but laughing@uuuuuuuu

 

 

    Winter Comes .........Again & Again, Summer Comes .......Again & Again, But The Person Like You.............. Will Not Come Again, Because...

 

 

    U luv sumone... u marry sumone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband & the one u loved becomes the password of ur emai id.

 

 

    Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of...

 

 

  if u want the latest MERCEDEZ BENZ on very easy installment of ten years with out downpayment and interest then log on to WWW.APNI_AUQAT_MAIN_RAHO.COM

 

 

    My girl and me, we are so perfect, she loves me, and I love myself too...

 

 

    A chicken sandwidch walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here".

 

 

    Heart beat are countless, spirits are ageless, dreams r endless, memories are timeless and a friend like u is Useless. Oops! Sorry Yaar, Priceless

 

 

    When u feel sad.... To cheer up just go to the mirror and say, "damn I am really so cute" u will overcome your sadness...

 

 

    Don't marry & make a woman happy. In fact remain a bachelor & make several women happy.

 

 

    If you are in tension, If nothing seems right, If u find no way out, Then just think of me only once, I will be always there to INCREASE your tensions

 

 

    Different Phases of a man: After engagement: Superman After Marriage: Gentleman After 10 years: Watchman After 20 years: Doberman

 

 

    THIS IS A HISTORICAL MSG READ CAREFULLY..... . In the year 1796 . / . myself . / . u . / my frnds . . ur frnds . ...

 

 

    Dear God, thank you for making me healthy. Can you also make me sexy? If you can't make me sexy, please make all my friends fat. Amen

 

 

  once a sardar bought a banaspatee teen and say to the shopkeeper where is my gift ?shopkeeper said why? serdar said there is written colestrol free

 

 

    TODAY IS THE INTERNATIONAL DAY OF SMART AND ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE SEND THIS TO SOMEONE WHO FITS THE DESCRIPTION;DONT SEND IT BACK I'VE ALREADY RECIEVED HUNDREDS

 

 

    My eyes miss u,my feels love u,my hands needs u,my mind calls u,my heart just 4 u , my live is u,i will die without u, i love u, aisa mery mama mujhay aksar...

 

 

    Some One.. Misses You.. Needs You Worries About Yoy Lonely Without U Guess Who? The MONKEY IN ....THE ZOO....

 

 

    Ur Ultimate Ur Logicall Ur lovely Ur Unpredictable In shortcut ur ullu

 

 

    2 Lovers plan to suicide. Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind. Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies

 

 

    Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?.... It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins !

 

 

    wen a guy tellz u that he luvz u from the bottom of his heart b careful 4 this may mean dat.......!!!!!!........ he has enuf space 4 another girl on the top...

 

 

    It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle, Million soldiers 2 protect a country, but just One woman 2 make a Happy Home! Let's Thank... KAAMWALI

 

 

    Boy: I'm not rich like Rahul, I don't even have a big car like Rahul, but I really Luv U! Girl: I luv u too, but tell me more about Rahul.

 

 

  An old rich man marries a young gal. Interviewer asks the girl: Apne inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha? Girl: Ek to inki income aur doosre inke din kum.

 

 

    Friendship is not a game to play, It is not a word to say, It doesn't start on March and ends on May, It is tomorrow, yesterday, today and everyday.

 

 

    Height of Challenge: a guy left whole answer sheet blank in an exam....&wrote this on the last Page: "agar apnay bap ki Aulad hey to pass kar ke dekha "

 

 

    Talking once with a genius is equal to the knowledge of reading books for one month' is a Chinese proverb. So, feel free to contact me any time. Good Morning

 

 

    to cheer up just go to the mirror and say'' damn i m so cute'' u will overcome ur sadness. but dont make this habbit coz liars go to hell

 

 

    i love u i love u i love u i love u dont get excited i also love v,w,x,y,z

 

 

    3+3=8
kasay hua??? bataooo
bataooo bataooo
thora sa brain use karoo........
nahi maloom..
now stop using ur mind.
main bataoon..
"GALTI SE"

 

 

    Maine kaha "Dil Ruba"
Usne kaha balance bhijwa
Maine kaha "Paise Nahi"
Usne kaha "Kaise nahi"
Maine kaha "Mehangai Hai"
Usne kaha "Ja aaj se tu mera bhai ha




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